(Discountinued) Wicked Wasteland
by rapturemelancholia
Summary: Cassandra is trying to cope with hallucinations and coming to terms with her friends' deaths, all this, while she deals with an asshole named Negan and walking corpses that are trying to eat her.
1. Chapter 1

The rays of the sun peeked over the lush trees and warmed the cold earth, casting a yellow glow over the housetops. Another day had passed in the wasteland that once had been a whole civilization. Now it only consisted of walking corpses and few of the living.

 _The world had changed_ , Cassandra thought. _But the madness remains._

Cassandra was crazy, there was no doubt about it. If she had been sane, she would not see her dead sister and friends up and about when they had died long before all hell broke loose. Now she was not alone with seeing the dead which could be seen as a comfort. The only difference was that the other dead were walking corpses and couldn't communicate, unlike the ghosts in Cassandra's mind.

She didn't remember much from the beginning of all chaos - only that she had killed someone. Her memory was foggy, and frankly, she didn't want to remember. She had been alone, cold and covered in guts and blood.  
For six months she had been alone, walking amongst the dead in disguise. One day, when the herd had finally turned around and left her, she had found a notebook in an old shack. It was unscathed, fortunately. The first page contained only two words, 'Kill me'.

"How are you feeling?"

Cassandra perked her head up at the voice and was met by the kind, blue gaze of Andrea - a woman she had both come to admire and hate after months of surviving together. "I'm okay." Her answer was short, as her words always were. Taking up too much time could prove fatal if you let down your guard. Cassandra wasn't trying to be rude, she was simply afraid. Afraid to make friends or enemies. Friends that could be lost so easily, enemies that are always a threat.

Andrea gave her a weak smile and decided to walk back to her lover, Rick - the leader of the group, and soon this newfound community.

This place made Cassandra uneasy. _Alexandria._ Everyone seemed to be playing pretend like children do as if the world was normal and everything was fine. The only ones she didn't dislike were Eric and Aaron who always treated her with respect, unlike many of the other residents.

She did like it there, _she did_ , but there were so many unwanted watchful eyes wherever she went. This place had a stench of lust and death. It was lingering in the core of the ground. Maybe she was overreacting. It was possible, but even Carl got a bad vibe from this place.

Cassandra did not - under any circumstances - trust Rick Grimes. If he would _ever_ somehow, sometime see her as a threat to him or his darling son, he would kill her without a second thought. He had done so before and nothing would stop him from doing it again. It was quite ironic that he had been a cop before, and now had gone to killing those in his way. His excuse was always that he did it for his family, but nothing can excuse a man for killing another individual. It was more monstrous than the walkers, considering they couldn't think rationally anymore.

 _'And they call me crazy'_ She shook her head at her thoughts and looked out over the town that grew at a rapid rate. From her seat on the roof, no one could see her. Unless, for some reason, they too were on a roof. She could sit and draw for hours without getting disturbed up there. Not that anyone would wonder where she had gone - unless something was terribly wrong. In that case, she was to blame.

* * *

Rick had brought together a group to fix the wall, as it was weakening and the walkers would soon breach it. It would breach, no matter how fast they tried. The walkers were already in masses, pushing against the wall with all the power they had. Cassandra hoped they would get in. She hoped they would kill Rick. He had killed her friends, mercilessly.

In fact, a lot of the people he had killed had been her friends, and she could only stand there and watch them die. She had begged and begged, but no one had listened. She was just the delusional girl in the group. She couldn't make friends, could she?

Cassandra wasn't stupid, she knew she wasn't _normal._ Seeing ghosts wasn't exactly normal. It sounded better when she said she could see dead people, but being the only one seeing them isn't so convincing to people. They didn't scare her, though, they just made her angry. Seeing them made her angry because she was always reminded of the fact that Rick had killed them. Rick didn't kill Billy, Cassandra knew that. Still, she couldn't help but feel it had been Rick's fault. He drove the Governor to kill the others at the prison. It was Rick's fault his wife and daughter were dead.

"Rick!" A voice cut through the thick air. It was Tobin, a man who had once been the head of the construction team but had been replaced by Abraham. He wasn't bright, but he had his heart in the right place and was a kind man.

The wall had finally broken down and walkers were streaming in, snapping their jaws, ready to eat Tobin whole.

In the blink of an eye, Cassandra grabbed the rifle that was seated beside her and made sure the suppressor was screwed on. She fired five clean headshots at the walkers that surrounded Tobin and gave him enough time to escape to safety.

Then the screaming began. Chaos ensued the community and the residents tripped over each other, rushing to their houses.

 _The screams_. She couldn't stand them anymore. They took over every thought in her head. It wasn't the people who were screaming, but rather the dead. The dead were _screaming_. Silent, without a sound - she could see it in their eyes. They were mindless monsters without a goal, roaming around until they found something to kill and eat and then they would do the same over and over again. The would roam endlessly until their rotten corpses would fall apart into a pile of stinking, rotten flesh.

Cassandra shuddered when Martinez put a hand on her shoulder. He smiled softly, not saying a single word. She tried to ignore him, but the tears soon fell down her rosy cheeks. She whispered to him in soft words, "You're dead. Please... leave me alone. Please..." Her voice cracked, the last words barely leaving her dry, cardboard lips. Talking to them never did any difference. If anything, it made them stay longer. It made them talk more.

After everything had cooled down, Carl had managed to get shot in the eye and survived, Michonne had cut Morgan's infected arm off - an injury he later died of, and Rosita was pissed because Abraham had slept with Holly behind her back and Rick was a total wreck because of his son. Everything seemed to be going to hell - and fast, but apparently, they had a plan. ' _That has to be one fucking plan'_ Cassandra thought and rolled her eyes.

Cassandra had been trapped on the roof after everyone had run inside the houses and the walkers were left roaming the streets. There were so many of them that she would need at least a bucket of ammunition to escape. She laid still and quiet on the roof, hunching down while clinging to the chimney. She started counting. First in English, then in German and lastly in Spanish. Always to fifty, and then she would start over.

After a few hours, she fell nodded off. When she woke up again, all of the walkers were dead. Grunting, she slid off the roof. As she landed on the ground with a thud, Andrea came running toward her, almost knocking her to the ground with a bear hug.

"I thought you were dead!" Andrea exclaimed with a horrified look on her face. She scanned Cassandra from head to toe, looking for any injury.

Cassandra gave her a soft laugh and murmured, "I fell asleep on the roof while you guys cleaned the area. Didn't even wake up before now." Rubbing her neck, she looked down to her dirt stained boots in guilt.

"Well, I heard you've got an admirer." Andrea winked sheepishly, nudging her friend's shoulder. Cassandra raised a brow at her so Andrea explained, "Tobin said you saved his life but he's too scared to thank you. He's trying to find you a present or something as thanks."

"He doesn't need to thank me. I was holding a gun, so I used it. Thanks aren't necessary anymore. It's just human dignity."

Andrea sighed and shook her head at the woman. There was a small smile playing on her lips as she said, "With this community, we'll soon be back to normal." She paused and frowned slightly, "Maybe not completely back to normal, but it's gonna be better."

Cassandra doubted that it would be better. At first, perhaps, but it would crumble as everything else had. Mankind had a way of destroying good things.


	2. Chapter 2

She wasn't sorry for what she had said because it was the _truth._ Andrea hadn't stopped speaking to her however. She still asked dumb questions like ' _how are you'_ and ' _do you want anything?'_. Of course I wanted something. I wanted my life back. I wanted to be able to sleep safely at night without worrying about being murdered or eaten alive.

Today was scouting day, and it was Cassandra's turn. It was odd because Rick didn't willingly choose her often, fearing that she would murder someone or run away and give away their position. He treated her like a damned child.

Cassandra had growled at Rick when he set her up with Abraham and Eugene to find some blasted machine barely a mile outside town. In the end, she had muttered a silent 'okay' and marched out of his house, slamming the door shut behind her. The people outside glared at her and hurried out of her way as if she was a hurricane. She sighed and propped her rifle up on her shoulder and sheathed her machete.

Abraham and Eugene were already waiting for her by the gate. "You ready?" Abraham asked and pushed the gate open. His face was stern and serious as he stepped out of safe town.

Cassandra hummed and shut the gate behind her. It was a relief to leave Alexandria for once. She couldn't stand seeing all those people happy and smiling, like they had no worries. There was absolutely _nothing_ to be happy about.

 **Cassandra's POV**

Grey clouds covered the sky as we ventured forwards. It felt like we didn't even have a destination, something I've been feeling since everything went to hell. I felt lost out here. "Can I ask something? Why the fuck are we not driving there?" I muttered and wiped a few drops of sweat off my forehead.

Eugene rolled his eyes, "Because that would bring unwanted attention to ourselves. Who knows what's out there?" He peered between the buildings as if he expected something to just jump out.

"Two things, Gene, walkers, and people." I closed my eyes for a second. _Walkers and people_. All that was left. I drew back and walked a couple of meters behind them. I wasn't exactly in the talking mood.

A sudden sound of flapping wings startled me and I swung around. A flock of crows were flying over my head. The thing that troubled me though, was that the crows had gotten used to the walkers and only reacted to _humans_. "Hey, keep your eyes opened. We're not alone." I said as quietly as I could and put an extra bullet in my gun.

Abraham and Eugene had begun discussing Holly and Rosita and were silently snarling at each other.

Just then, an arrow came flying past my head, barely missing the side of my temple and hit Abraham right in his skull. I turned right in time to deflect another one with my rifle. It bounced off and hit the ground with a small clang. I ran to the corner of a building to my left and pressed my back against the cold bricks. I couldn't go anywhere. I had backed into a goddamn alley.

15 maybe 20 minutes passed and nothing happened. Not a _single_ fucking thing happened. I quietly crept to the corner and peeked out. I didn't exactly expect there to be a crossbow pointed at my face. "Fucking hell," I muttered and dropped my rifle as a sign of defeat.

The man in front of me had one side of his face badly burnt. Though his eyes were gentle and not evil-looking. "You fucking move I'll shoot you." He threatened and tied my hands together. He pushed me in front of him and said, "We're going to pay your _friends_ a little visit."


	3. Chapter 3

Cassandra walked slowly beside Eugene who had also been left alive. Tears were running down his face like a flood and Cassandra couldn't help but feel bad for him. She sighed sadly and said, "Don't cry for the dead, cry for the living instead."

He was going to snap at her, tell her she didn't know anything - that she was a cold-hearted bitch. He didn't say a word, though. He shut his mouth and continued to walk forward.

It felt like they had been walking for hours when they finally came to a stop in front of two trucks filled with armed men. Eugene looked at Cassandra with wide eyes. This was probably just a small proportion of their _real_ army. "Looks like you got the boys all together." Cassandra felt the _need_ to make a snarky comment.

The man who had captured them glared at her as if he wanted to smack her. "You play tough as long as you want darling." He snarled, pushing her over to one of the trucks.

Cassandra was seated between two gruff-looking men who seemed rather eager to shoot her, or worse. To her demise, the man she just had a verbal dispute with, took a seat just in front of her. She swears to god, if they were alone he would probably be grinning like a damn fool, but they just glared at each other. Cassandra's upper lip started to twitch, something she did when she was angry. She hated it. It made it so much easier for people to read her.

They came to a stop and Cassandra was pushed out of the truck. "We'll walk from here so they don't hear us comin'." A bald man with said.

Eugene and Cassandra were knelt down in front of Alexandria's gate beside Dwight, she had learned his name was.

Dwight raised Abraham's machine gun in the air and pressed the trigger. He let a dozen shots go off in the air before he yelled, "Wake up you lazy fucks!"

There was a moment of complete silence Rick and a few others rushed out to the gates. Rick glared at Cassandra as if it was all her fault. "Who are you and what do you want?" He asked coldly.

Dwight smirked, "Does it really fucking matter? You let us in right fucking now or I'll blow this bitch's brains out." He grabbed Cassandra by her hair and forced her up on her feet. Dwight was a head taller than her and could clearly see everything that was going on.

She looked Rick in his eyes with a deadly glare and did something totally unexpected. She shot her head back right into Dwight's nose. There was a small cracking noise and a loud 'fuck' before his grip loosened. Cassandra was pushed down to the ground but she turned around and bit him right in the crotch. He screamed and pulled at her hair but she only proceeded to bite harder until blood stained her face.

It distracted them long enough for Andrea to take out five of them nearest to Cassandra. They all started to panic once they realized what the hell was going on and started shooting wildly at everything that moved past the gate. Cassandra took cover behind a tree until the shooting finally died out. She peaked out from behind the tree and breathed with relief as she saw that they had retreated

Rick, Holly, Eugene and a few others were rushing out the gate as Cassandra stepped forward

"You're alive!" Eugene exclaimed with shock as he rushed over to her to cut her bindings off. "That was one hell of a maneuver."

She smiled a little, flattered that someone actually thought she did something good for once. Though she looked like she would throw up, she continued to smile weakly as she began to walk back into Alexandria.

"Wait!" Cassandra turned around, frowning. Rick rested his hand on his gun and looked down to the ground. "We need your help. We're going to the Hilltop to get help. We need to stop this... Negan." His eyes rested on hers as she looked away.

"Alright, but you owe me a day off." She muttered and went to the armory to grab a gun. She had no idea where her rifle had gone, but it was probably in someone else's hands by now.

When she came back to the gate everyone was already done and ready to go.

The road was bumpy and the floor of the van was extremely uncomfortable. Beside her sat Carl and Sophia and in front of her Glenn and Maggie had snuggled up against each other.

Later they stopped so everyone could get some sleep, but not even when everyone was asleep could she shut her eyes. Glenn was snoring like a pig, but maybe she was just hypersensitive.

An hour passed without any kind of commotion but then she suddenly heard a low thump. She sat still and listened closely. Nothing for a moment, but then there was a loud gunshot. Everyone jolted up and rushed out of the van. Cassandra was pushed out too, in the hurry.

When Cassandra came to her senses they were surrounded by at least 50 or 100 men. She was shocked and stared with her mouth wide open. Her heart was beating like never before and she began sweating. It was _different_ being surrounded by humans. They were smart, they could run as fast as her, and they could do much worse things than the walkers could.

A man stepped out from the crowd. He was grinning like crazy. "Oh boy, we pissin' our pants yet? Which one of you pricks are the leader?"

One of the men pointed at Rick, "This is the one."

Rick glared at the man as he stepped in front of him, "Rick right? I'm _Negan._ "

Cassandra's heart started beating faster. His name was eating its way into her head. As soon as she heard him speaking, she knew someone was going to die. He had it in his voice. _Madness_.

She felt like she wasn't going to make it out alive. She felt as this was her last day on earth. She didn't feel sad or worried. She closed her eyes, imagining a bullet going through her brain. _Free. At last._


End file.
